Sex and the Single Mom: Intro

Yes, you read correctly. I used the words "sex" and "mom" in the same sentence, and it's okay. After all, sex is typically involved in becoming a mom, right?

There are approximately 10 million single mothers in the U.S., up nearly 7 million since 1970 (according the Census Bureau), and we vary in age, race, sexual orientation, size, shape, and so on. Although we are as different as snowflakes (such a warm and fuzzy analogy), we share many core traits. We love our children. We bust our ass to provide as best as possible. We get lonely when kids fall asleep and the lights turn off.

The basic human needs for sex, intimacy, and love don't cease to exist when you pop a kid out. As a matter of fact, I strongly believe that those needs increase after motherhood. It's a scientific fact that sex relieves stress, and God only knows that being a single mom can be very stressful at times. Additionally, researchers have found that couples that have sex at least twice a week are less likely to catch the flu. Now that's a preventative measure that I can get behind (no pun intended)! The term "flu shot" takes on a whole new meaning (okay, pun was totally intended there). As a single mother, I can tell you that catching the flu can feel like the kiss of death when your kids need help with homework and silly things like dinner, and we certainly don't have time to get sick.

Time. That single word is the center of our universe. We're constantly fighting a war on time, trying to find enough of it to spread our attention to our children, our work, our family and friends, our housework, and....wait for it....OURSELVES! Yes, we do need to make time for ourselves. There's no shame in that, it's a necessity in order to be a happy parent and role model. So many of us fall into the trap of denying ourselves personal time, feeling guilty about taking attention away from other areas of life. But that's crap! We have to find ways to refuel all the love and energy that we put out. A large piece of that component is the need for physical and emotional companionship with somebody over 3 feet tall. Now, I'll be the first to admit that our lifestyles can make it pretty complicated to tread through the dating world. Difficult? Absolutely. Impossible? Absolutely not! Worth it? Without a doubt!

I am not a single parent dating expert by any stretch of the imagination; however, I have an unnatural amount of experience to draw from, given that I am a fourth generation single mom. I've often wondered if my great grandmother pissed off a gypsy at some point in her life. I've started this candid series about "Sex and the Single Mom" to share resources, trials and tribulations, common concerns and issues, and great stories (please feel free to share yours!). I hope to encourage others to remember that although we can rock as mothers, we are also so much more. We are superwomen dammit! You sacrifice for your wees, but don't forget that you have needs too. So ladies, shed the guilt and be the MILF you are!  Treat yourself to a smile once in a while. Until the next blog, I plead with you to get out of the rut, get a life, and occasionally GET LAID (at least before the next flu season)! Until then folks...